Broken
by frogchik090
Summary: Jade and Tori start seeing each other before Tori is set to leave for school. When Tori drops the L-bomb to Jade she gets scared and runs. Can Jade win Tori back after breaking her heart or will she live her life miserable for the rest of her life. Probably just a 3-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

**Hi guys this is just a short story i wanted to do. It is probably just going to be a 3 shot in Jade's POV. Jade is probably going to seem out of character in this story. Let me know what you think with a review!**

**Jade's POV**

Falling in love is scary; finally realizing you're in love is even scarier.

"I love you." I just keep walking pretending I didn't hear her.

"Jade, don't ignore me. I know you heard me." Tori says I can hear the sadness in her voice. I still keep walking though.

Tori suddenly stops walking and pulls me to a stop. I finally look in her eyes and wished I didn't. I can't describe the look of hurt I see.

"Jade you don't have to say it, I don't expect you to I just needed to tell you how I felt." Tori says taking my other hand and looking directly in my eyes. "I'm so in love with you." She says as tears form in her eyes.

"Don't." I say harsher than I mean to.

"I wish I could just stop my feelings Jade but I can't." Tori says dropping my hands as the first tear falls from her eyes. I can't stand the feeling of guilt that forms in my chest.

"Stop Tori. You are moving away for college in two months."

"So what is this Jade?"

"A fling, just fun? We were never going to last with you going away to school."

"So what you just give up without trying?" Tori says as more tears start to fall from her eyes.

"I just don't feel the same Vega. This was never something serious to me and was never going to be it was fun." I snap out and Tori just looks at me utterly heartbroken.

"Wow. Well I'm glad to know what page you are on now." Tori says icily. "I'm glad you could have fun. Good luck with college Jade, I really hope you find someone that can actually thaw out you cold fucking heart and you could love them back and hopefully they won't break your heart." Tori says before walking past me. I hear her stop briefly but I don't turn around to face her. "I wish I never fell for you."

"Me either." I said hoping she can't hear the tears in my voice.

I know I should follow her, tell her the truth that I do love her but would my love even be enough for her to want to be with me while she is away at school? I feel my heart break with guilt. This right here is why Tori deserves better, I couldn't even admit that I love her. I squeeze my eyes shut to keep my eyes from betraying me with tears.

After composing myself I walk in the direction of my car suddenly worried about how Tori was getting home. I hope she waited at the car for me so I could at least give her a ride even if she hates me.

I make it back to where I parked outside of the park trail we were just walking and there is no sign of Tori. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her. I try calling and get voicemail so I just leave a message telling her I just wanted to make sure she was okay and that she made it home safe.

Tori never called to texted me back though. A while later I saw her update on the slap right before she disappeared off my page because she blocked me.

The summer dragged on and I didn't see Tori or talk to her again. I don't know why I expected her to. The group dynamic changed. Andre stopped talking to me and Robbie left soon after graduation to go to school early. I found myself mostly hanging out with my younger sister Lauren. Cat and Beck still hung out with me but they never spoke of Tori, it was kind of like she just never existed.

Lauren and my mom both asked me what happened with Tori one night since they hadn't seen her around the house. I told them how we broke up but never went into detail. My mom gave me the sympathetic look that I hate and Lauren just told me it was Tori's loss. Oh if she only knew.

A month after that fateful night with Tori I saw Andre updated his page saying bye to Tori. I guess she was moving to school early. which I guess I understood, she wanted to get away from this place and further from me.

By the time mid August got here I had my stuff packed and ready to go. I spent the last few nights home spending time with my mom, dad and Lauren. As soon as my car was packed up I hit the road. I got into a small school that specialized in directing a few hours away form home. I had a small studio apartment I got through the school.

The school was small and didn't have many dorms because most people commuted locally. I got the apartment through the school versus having to stay in a dorm. I liked the apartment better so I could live completely alone. I was just happy to be away. Home was now filled with sad memories of how Tori and I didn't work. I had a fresh start here and could almost just forget about my old life all together.

I immediately threw myself into school and found a part time job to help pay for food and rent even though my parents offered to pay for everything. I focused most of my time on schoolwork or my actual job and despite my mom being upset I made the decision to stay at the apartment for Thanksgiving break. I had a script to do and I just wasn't ready to face home even though I did miss Beck, Cat and my family.

After missing Thanksgiving my mom made me promise I would be home for at least a few days around Christmas.

I saw Beck and Cat a few times when I went home for Christmas time. They said they would have to come visit my apartment when I said I wasn't going to be staying home for the entire break. It was hard to just leave for an extended period of time when I had the part-time job. Lauren came to visit a few times as well as my parents a few times too. Lauren was 17 so she had a license so she could visit without my parents. It was probably surprising to people but I was pretty close with my sister and it made me sad I couldn't go home and spend much time with her for the holidays. She even got me to cave and tell her about the break up with Tori.

"Jade, I wish you could see how special you truly are, I think you should just tell Tori the truth." She said one day when I finally opened up to her.

"It's too late Lauren. Just lets talk about something else." I said. She never brought up the Tori thing again to me.

After school started back up for break I immediately through myself back into like before. Beck and Cat did end up visiting, as well as my parents and sister.

By the time spring break rolled around I decided to visit home for the break since it was only a week and my boss was kind enough to let me. I was surprised when Beck invited me out the Karaoke Dokie with the gang, which included Tori and Andre. I was going to say no but I did want to see Tori and how she was doing, even if she hated me. I still felt horrible about the break up the past summer but there was nothing I could do about it now.

I rode with Beck and Cat to Karaoke Dokie. As we walked in I could see Robbie with a girl, André and Tori with some blond. I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when Tori kissed her. Was that her girlfriend? I didn't even know she had a girlfriend but then again why would I know that. I had no right to feel jealous over this blonde chick but I couldn't help it.

"Hey Jade." Andre said awkwardly. Guess he still hated me, why the fuck did I come? I saw Tori snap her head towards my direction at the sound of my name. I saw her give me a half smile but I was still annoyed that she brought her girlfriend so I just turned and walked toward the soda bar. I really wish I hadn't come at all. What was I thinking?

After getting a soda I walked back over to Beck and Cat. Robbie came over and introduced his girlfriend to us. I watched Tori out of the corner of my eye talking to Andre and the blond. She looked happy.

I stand there chatting with Beck and Cat about something and get too much into the convo to realize Tori and the blond had walked over to me and Beck and Cat had walked away.

"Hey Jade." I hear Vega say. I see the blond squeeze Tori's hand. It sets an angry fire off inside of me; did they have to hold hands near me?

"Vega." I said in a bored because she doesn't get to know that I'm pissed after trying to rub it in my face she moved on like I knew she would.

"This is Dylan, my girlfriend." Vega says motioning to the blond she is currently holding hands with.

"Hi." The bimbo says. She holds her hand out to me and I just stare at it for a moment before walking away to here Beck is standing.

"Why was I forced to come out? I'm bored and this is stupid." I say to Beck when I reach him.

"Because it was nice to get the gang back together."

"Oh so it will be just like high school? Whoo hoo." I deadpan.

We go back to the table to sit and end up taking turns singing songs well except me. We also get some food while we are here. I try to avoid Tori the whole night and not puke at how up each other's ass her and the girlfriend are. After a couple hours I get up from the table I was sitting at with Beck and Cat and go to use the bathroom As I get in the stall I hear someone else come in When I walk out of the stall to wash my hands I here the toilet flush and look to see Vega come out of the stall. Great.

"I'm surprised Dodger didn't follow you into the bathroom." I say acidly. I don't even know why I opened my mouth.

"It's Dylan and I can go to the bathroom alone." Vega snaps. I smirk and turn to walk out of the bathroom.

"What's your problem Jade? I'm trying to be nice here and friendly even after you broke up with me remember? All because I was stupid enough to fall in love with you." I turn around to look at Tori.

"Yup you were." I say in a bored tone hiding the guilt I feel at the hurt that flashes across her eyes.

"Wow here again I am stupid for thinking you could change." I hear Vega say again I turn towards the door. "I thought we could get past this and at least be friends." Tori says with pain in her voice. I don't walk any further forward but I don't turn around.

"I don't think so." I say. "Why would you think we'd ever be friends?" I ask turning briefly towards Tori before finally just walking out of the bathroom.

Tori doesn't deserve my treatment. I was doing her a favor when I broke up with her last summer I walk up to the bar to get another soda thanking myself for brining my flask with, I drink half of my soda before dumping half my flask in it. I make my way back to the table sitting next to Beck I end up chatting with Beck and then this pretty good looking dark haired girl. I dump the rest of my flask in the soda after I drink another half.

I spend the rest of the time there chatting up this girl and getting her number. I call Lauren and she is already out and said she would come pick me up. After finishing my drink and letting myself sober up slightly I said goodbye to Beck and Cat who force a hug out of me. I said a quick and awkward bye to Andre and Robbie who luckily knew better than to try and force a hug out of me, and then left without saying anything to Vega.

I could never be friends with her not with how I feel about her and knowing she moved on like I knew she would. I drive home and decided to drink some more before texting the girl I met earlier. I had to her house to myself because Lauren went back out so I invited her over.

At the end of the week I head back to my apartment getting ready to lose myself in school the rest of the year. The girl I met and I decided we would be just fuck buddies because their was no sense in trying to form a relationship since I never go home and was still in love with my ex.

The summer following the first school year I only went home for the beginning half of it. I did see Jen, the fuck buddy, a few times and Cat and Beck here and there. There were no other hangouts with the gang again over the summer however, which was good since I didn't want to see Vega. I decided to stay at the apartment the other half take a couple summer classes while I worked. I just didn't want to be home and run into Vega. I promised my mom I would be home for Thanksgiving this year.

After summer I started my normal schedule of classes again but was happy to have more classes to distract me from thinking of Vega. I met guys and girls here and there but nothing serious was going to form.

A few days before I was set to leave to go home for a few days for Thanksgiving I received a call from my mom. I was used to her texting but never calling.

"Hello?" I say and hear my mom sniffle. "Mom?" I feel my stomach drop in panic.

"Jade, it's, it's." She pauses to cry. "It's your father."

"What happened mom?" I ask panicking.

"He had in a car accident."

"Is he okay?" I asked fearing the answering by how upset she is.

"He died Jade."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

**Okay here is chapter two guys. I need to mention there is some self-harming in this. ****I changed the rating to M just to be safe with the subject matter. Keep I hope you all enjoy it let me know what you think.**

**Jade's POV**

I'm not sure how long I stood staring off into the space. I hung up with my mom after talking to her and figuring out funeral arrangements. I decided I didn't want anyone else to know about my father. I went home the next day to help my mom prepare for everything.

I went to the funeral alone besides my mom and sister and other family member's of my dad being there. My sister and mom cried on either side of me. I just sat there in a trance too numb to cry, too numb to feel anything.

After the funeral we all go out to breakfast at a local diner that doesn't get too busy during the weekdays so they can easily handle a large group. We all get some food and everyone chitchats sharing funny stories about my dad. I still am too numb to feel anything or speak though I notice my sister is rather quiet next to me.

I reach down and take her hand in mine giving it a squeeze. I see her out of the corner of my eye look up at me as tears stream down. I realized today that I need to figure out a way to spend more time with my family because I just never know when something could happen.

After the diner my mom, Lauren and I head back home to the empty house. I feel my heart clench walking through the door seeing one of my dad's jackets hanging on the coat hook. He is never going to come home from work grumbling about traffic while he hung up his coat and took off his jacket again. I shake my head cursing the world.

"Can we watch a movie?" Lauren asks me in a broken voice.

"Anything you want." I say as I walk towards my room in the basement with Lauren behind me.

Lauren went back upstairs real quick to grab her movie. To my horror she picked The Notebook but I watched it with no complaint.

"Thanks for sitting through that movie with me, we can watch one of your horrifying horror movies now." Lauren said taking out the DVD. I couldn't help but give her a half smile.

"Okay, but it is not my fault if you have nightmares tonight." I say putting The Scissoring in. I have made her suffer through this movie many times and she always was a big baby and ended up sleeping in my room most times.

After The Scissoring was over Lauren said she was headed out for the night to see her friends.

"Do you think it will ever get better? It hurts so bad Jade." Lauren says turning to me before leaving my room, tears forming in my eyes.

"I hope so. I really hope so." I say feeling my eyes burn. "I love you Lauren, I don't ever tell you but I do.

"I know you do Jade. I love you too you big Goth scissor loving freak." Lauren says smiling through her tears. I feel a few tears leak form my eye before pulling her into my arms.

"Be careful driving."

"Okay mom. I'll see you tomorrow." Lauren pulls back and runs upstairs to get ready and leave for her friends.

I turn on some scare show and numbly watch it sad that Lauren left not that I would ever guilt her into staying with me and not seeing her friends. It's my own fault I don't have friends here with me now.

I don't know how long I stared at the TV but suddenly someone I never expected to see came into my room. Before I knew what was happening Tori had her arms around me. This meant she knew. Her sudden engulfing hug made me want to cry again so instead I let anger control me.

"Who told you?" I snap pushing her off from me. I wasn't angry at her it was just everything and the fact that my dad was taken form me when we finally had a relationship. "Who told you Vega?" I ask again with venom. "No one was supposed to know otherwise I would have told them but did I? NO!" I couldn't help the yelling.

"My dad was on the scene Jade, he told me. I'm so sorry I didn't tell anyone else. I just flew out here as soon as I could. I tried calling you but you didn't answer or call back." Tori said gripping both my hands in hers. I should be happy she is willing to comfort me after everything.

"You shouldn't have come. Glad to see you unblocked my number though." I sneered getting up and away from her. After we broke up I figured out that Tori blocked my number not that I blamed her.

I walk into my bathroom that is connected right to my room trying to calm myself down. Seeing Tori after all this is just sent a spiral of emotions through me. Why does she still care about me?

"Jade, I know you are upset but you can't deal with this alone. You need someone." I hear Tori say through the door. I

I flew out as soon as I could.

"So you think I need you to help me through this? Wow Vega full of yourself much? Just leave I don't need anyone especially not you!" I snap t Tori who has a calm face one. Why can't she just hate me?

"Jade." She says too calmly

"Why do you even care Tori? I have been rotten to you. I dumped you last summer and told you I don't even want anything to do with you. I didn't want you to come here or I would have called. Stop trying to find the heart I don't have in my chest! I HATE YOU STOP CARING, why can't you just leave me alone?" Tori suddenly slaps me across the face. I hold my cheek in utter shock.

"I will not be your verbal punching bag Jade. I still care because I am a fucking idiot and still am in love with you Jade!" Vega says through tears.

Suddenly I'm crying, I'm just bawling my eyes out falling to my knees on the floor and Tori is holding me tight.

"He's gone. We finally had a relationship and he is just taken from me. God Tori it hurts so fucking much." I cry out grabbing Tori tightly. Tori is right I need someone I need her. I have always needed her.

After I finally calm down slightly I look up at Tori an god she looks so beautiful then suddenly I am kissing her and she is kissing me back and everything happens so fast.

The next morning I wake up in Tori's arms and we are both naked. I can't help but admire how beautiful she is. I should tell her how I actually feel, the truth for once. I see her start stirring and then open her eyes to look at me.

"Morning." I say with a smirk. I am sitting up leaning up against the headboard not caring that my naked chest is uncovered by the sheet.

"Morning." Tori says before stretching. I can't help but smirk as the sheet moves down as she stretches showing off her small but amazing boobs. "How are you feeling?" She asks staying where she is laying but not bothering to fix the sheet. I wish it could be like this everyday but even if I admit the truth what would that change? I know she told me last night she was still in love with me but was that even enough? Would she even want to be with me? She seemed so happy with Dylan.

"I'm alright." Tori just gave me a look that said she didn't believe me. "I'll be alright."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? You had no one at the funeral."

I knew she was really asking why didn't tell her.

"I was too numb and I just didn't want Beck or Cat there, Andre and Robbie well we aren't exactly friends anymore and with you well everything that happened last time I saw you I just couldn't bother you with this. I didn't deserve you to drop everything for me." I say looking off to the side. The guilt with her eats me alive. I should just tell her how I feel because life is short and I don't want anything to happen to her without knowing how I really feel.

"Jade, I would have been there fro you no matter what. I " She was suddenly interrupted by her phone.

"Oh my god. It's Dylan. Oh my god I cheated on her." Tori says looking horrified.

"You better get that." I say acidly letting my anger get the best of me before getting up to use the bathroom.

"Hi babe. I miss you too." I just shake my head while I pee.

"Yeah she is doing alright. Yeah I'll be there to pick you up later. I can't wait to see you either. I'll see you later bye. Love you too." I hear Vega hang up as I flush the toilet sand wash my hands.

I walk out to see Vega sitting on the side of the bed with her face in her hands. I walk over throwing on some shorts and a shirt while she sits on the edge of the bed like a statute. I stand there watching her for a few minutes before saying anything.

"Would you like some coffee?" I ask finally Tori looks up at me with regret. Why would she stay with me is she is this upset over last night? She obviously loves Dylan more than me.

"What am I going to do Jade? I cheated on Dylan, she is going to be crushed," Tori says as tears spill over.

"Well she never has to know Vega. I wouldn't tell her, it can be our dirty little secret. We wouldn't want to hurt her." I say through gritted teeth. "Now do you want coffee before you go?" I ask.

"Before I go?" Tori asks in shock.

"Yeah, it's obvious last night was a huge mistake. I wasn't in the right mind. So I figured you could have some coffee then you can leave and forget this ever happened and be happy with Dylan." I try to hide the venom in my voice.

"But Jade."

"Tori, I heard you on the phone, I'm giving you an out. If you want to tell Dylan that's on you but you don't have to you can just pretend this didn't happen. You are happy with Dylan and deserve someone who cares and loves you. I'm sorry I took advantage of you last night Tori. Now come have some coffee before you leave." I say before turning so Tori won't see my tears.

"Jade, I'm sorry." Tori says looking down.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm going to just spend some time with my mom and sister today. Go be happy Tori." I say walking out of my room and upstairs.

Tori and I sat in the dining room drinking coffee with her telling me about school. When she left she gave me a tight hug telling me that I could call her for anything. I watch sadly as she walked out the door. Maybe one day I could be just friends with her.

"So how did things go with Tori last night? Sorry I just was here when she knocked on the door." Lauren says after coming into my room.

"I fucked up. I yelled at her, and then I slept with her Lauren. Then instead o telling her how I felt I let her go thinking I am still a heartless bitch. Her girlfriend called her and she was heartbroken over the fact she cheated on her and I heard her tell her she loved her and Tori wouldn't just say that. Fuck, Lauren she deserves to be happy so I just said to not tell Dylan and to stay with her because she deserves someone who loves her and cares about her. I'm too fucked up and emotionally broken for her. I don't deserve her." I didn't even know I had started crying until Lauren wiped my tears from under my eyes.

"Come here." Lauren said pulling me into her and hugging me tightly. "You deserve to be happy too Jade, you should have just told her how you feel. Tori still loves you I could tell when she came over last night she was so worried. Jade she came all the way here even after the shit last spring break. You aren't fucked up, or emotionally broken but you should trust her not to hurt you Jade and trust her to stick it out even if there is a distance between you. One day Tori isn't going to come back and you are going to lose your chance."

"Dylan is apparently flying here for Thanksgiving break. So I'll have to wait." I still hugging Lauren.

"Come on let's go see what moms doing and drag her to the new horror movie we can trick her last like last time." Lauren says causing me to smile and think back to when we tricked our mom to see the last Saw movie. Let's just say after we left and she was looking pretty sick and pale she grounded us both for a month. Of course we didn't follow our rules.

"Mom, come on we want to go to a movie, you have been working too much since the funeral take a break." We say as we enter her office.

"Okay girls, but you better not take me to another horror movie. I still have nightmares from the other one."

"Oh don't be such a baby mom, this movie isn't even scary compared to Saw."

We all get ready and head off to the movies. Lauren and I do convince our mom to go to the horror movie, though we didn't trick her this time. We all have a goodtime sharing popcorn and laughing whenever Lauren and my mom got scared. I smile to myself as we leave. I really wish my dad was still with us and it's going to hurt for a long time and I'll never get over it but I'm glad I still have my mom and Lauren here with me.

After Thanksgiving break I sadly had to say goodbye to Lauren and my mom. Thanksgiving was a day filed with tears. I finally told Beck and Cat they were shocked that I didn't tell them so they could be at the funeral but I wasn't lying when I told Tori that I was numb. I didn't see Tori over break again which was good because I couldn't see her with Dylan and be okay. I gave my mom and Lauren a hug goodbye saying I would let them know when I got back safe and would see them in a few weeks at Christmas time.

When I get back to my apartment I go back to school and work the next day. This time throwing myself into school and work is to distract me from my dad being gone. I know that he would want me to work hard to get my degree and save money. It was sad to be back at my apartment. After spending so much time with Lauren again it was sad to be alone. I just find myself suddenly drinking alcohol I had someone buy me.

The weeks leading up to Christmas break pass in a blur between doing final projects, studying, working and drinking. By the time it was time to go home for Christmas break I'm probably close to an alcoholic. The first night I go home and Cat and Beck come over I convince them to drink with me so I look like less of an alcoholic.

I felt like I was living a nightmare. My dad was dead. It had been a few weeks since he died and I just couldn't help but drink to numb the pain, of him and Tori.

After hanging out with Lauren, Beck and Cat they start to notice my heavy drinking. And finally on Christmas Eve when they are all over Lauren has finally had enough.

"You know Jade, I miss him too." Lauren says walking up to me in the living room. I was nursing my 5th maybe 6th drink of the night? I definitely had a problem.

"I don't doubt you do." I say rudely and walk away from her. I was hoping to go find Beck or Cat to get away form her but I just decided to head down stairs to my room for a little bit.

"Jade, don't walk away from me." Lauren says following me down to my room. "I know you miss him but there is no reason to become a drunk." I lost it.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do Lauren, you are not my mom."

"Jade please?" I just lost my dad too but I can't stand the person my sister is because of the alcohol and I have no one else who knows exactly what I am going through to talk to." Lauren says tears forming in her eyes.

I may seem bitchy, and not caring to most people, but I care about my sister, she is my best friend. Lauren also always knew how to guilt me.

"Jade, please I know it hurts but you are hurting me by doing this. I need my sister, not the nasty girl she has become from drinking." Lauren has such a sad broken voice it hurts my heart I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten

"I'm so sorry Lauren. I haven't even though of what I was doing to you, or even mom. I have only been thinking of myself and trying to numb the pain." I put my head in my hands sitting down on my bed. "I just wanted to numb the pain Lauren, I'm so sorry." I say through tears that have started to stream down my face.

My emotions I have been trying to run from have finally sprung free. I feel Lauren wrap her arms around me and start crying into my shoulder as well.

"Will it ever stop hurting? Dad or Tori?" I ask through a broken voice.

"I hope so, but I'll always be here Jade remember that." Lauren says squeezing me tighter.

"I'll try to stop with the drinking, I really will." I say when we have both finally calmed down.

For the next week I hang out with Lauren mostly, and sometimes Beck or Cat or all of them together. I'm hoping I can maybe see Tori. Hopefully Dylan won't be back so I can admit the truth to her. Lauren thinks I just need to tell her the truth even if we don't get back together. One day Cat, Beck and I went to get some coffee at a new place that open by Hollywood Arts.

"So how would you feel about a gang hang out at Karaoke Dokie again? This Friday?" Beck asks me while we are hanging out in my room.

"I don't know. I want to see Tori but I don't know if I am ready."

"Why weren't you just honest with her Jade?"

"I don't want to talk about this Beck." I snap before turning towards him.

"Jade." Beck says sadly.

"Just stop Beck." I say not looking from the TV to him.

"At least think about it."

"Fine."

I do think about it and then Lauren convinces me to go. So I do. Cat and Beck pick me up again and we all ride together. I sit quietly thinking of what I am going to say to Tori if she is even alone.

I walk in to see Andre and Robbie over at the soda bar and Tori sitting at a table alone. This is great. I walk over to the table.

"Hey Vega." Tori looks at me and smiles.

"Hey jade, how is everything going for you?" She asks and I sit down next to her.

"Things are getting better." I say honestly and I look in her eyes. I'm going to do it and if she doesn't feel the same than at least I know. "Tori." I stop before saying anything else as Dylan walks up to the table.

"Hi Jade." She says politely giving me a smile.

"Hi." I say about to get up before Beck and Cat come join us all at the table.  
>Andre and Robbie follow shortly after saying hi to me. They tell me they were sorry to hear about my dad and then ask about school and update me on their lives.<p>

I get up at some point to get a soda while Tori and Cat are singing up on stage.

"Jade."

I turn around to see Dylan standing behind me.

"That's me." I say trying to not being rude even though I don't want to talk to her.

"Tori told me about the cheating. It wasn't cool of you to sleep with someone else's girlfriend, one that you let go because you claimed to not love her. I know your father died and you weren't in the right state of mind but still you took advantage of Tori's old feelings for you."

"I told her it was a mistake and meant nothing. I'm not trying to steal her from you."

"You could, easily Jade, I'm not stupid I know how she still feels about you. I could treat her better though. I love her and am not afraid to tell her my feelings or be there for her. Tori deserves to be with someone who won't toy with her emotions and lead her on then crush her the next day. I know she still loves you but I am willing to fight for her feelings in hopes one day she will love me that way. It is probably pathetic but I can't help it. I love her enough to look past the cheating." Dylan says looking at me sadly.

"Shouldn't this be Tori's idea not yours?" I snap getting angry.

"I can promise to love her, can you promise her that? Can you promise not to get scared and hurt her and push her away again Jade, because I can. If you want to keep hurting her by playing with her feelings then go pretend to care about her and steal her away. She has someone right now that loves her and isn't afraid to. Do you even have real feelings for her? Or did you just sleep with her because she is falling for someone else and you want her to love you but not have to be with her? If any part of you truly cares about her or even loves her slightly let her go and be happy. I won't make her stay with me if she doesn't want to be with me but don't just steal her away from me because you can." Dylan says before walking away from me back over to Tori.

I walk back to the table with my soda and sit quietly next to Beck. I watch how happy Tori seems with Dylan. I can't hurt Tori anymore. I have to let her go.

I only hang around for a little bit more before I call the girl I met last year, Roxi, for a ride because I just can't take watching Tori and Dylan anymore. I say quick goodbyes to everyone and go to wait outside for Roxi.

"Jade." I hear someone say my name as I wait outside. I turn around to see Beck.

"What?" I ask not having my usual tone.

"Why are you leaving early again? "

"I'm just tired and have a lot on my mind." I say not looking at him.

"Jade, what did Dylan say to you?"

"She just roved a point that Tori is better off with her. She is right I just hurt Tori and was too afraid to just love her. She loves Dylan I heard her say it on the phone the day after we slept together. She wouldn't just say it." I say turning from Beck why can't everyone just leave me alone about this.

"Jade." Beck starts but Roxi pulls up in her car.

"Hey hot stuff ready to go?" She says leaning over towards the open window.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend." Beck says with a disappointed tone.

"She isn't but I am single so I can do what or who I want." I say nonchalantly. "Have a good night Beck." I get in the car and give Roxi a kiss. This is me letting Tori go.

Roxi takes us back to her house for some fun ad drinks. I call Lauren after Roxy falls asleep because I am just not doing a sleepover. I wish I had my car because I just don't want to have to explain to Lauren why I am at this chick's house and not Karaoke Dokie with the gang.

"So explain." Lauren says immediately when I get in the car.

"Dylan was there, telling me how she is better for Tori and she is right. Tori deserves someone who loves her so I am letting her be happy."

"What the fuck is wrong with you Jade. Seriously. I just ugh you are so fucking frustrating sometimes I could just punch you."

"Just drop it. It's over and done with Lauren." I say looking out the window thinking of how stupid I was two summers ago. But really, what if Tori really did just love Dylan now, would it have made any difference? Would she have met Dylan and fell for her anyways. Maybe it would have been worse.

When we arrived home I grumbled out a thanks to Lauren before going to my room to hide. I wanted to go back to my apartment maybe even move further away I also wanted to drink heavily. I withheld the urge to drink because I had to at least try not to fuck up my relationship with Lauren. I hadn't drunk since Christmas Eve. I just shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep. The slightly good feeling I had was just ripped away and I know it is my own doing. Maybe my mom and Lauren could just move by me we could all have a fresh start.

The last couple of weeks of break pass by and again I'm back to hanging out with Lauren, Beck or Cat. I don't talk to Andre or Robbie, and I definitely don't talk to Tori. They don't bring up Tori to me after the night at Karaoke Dokie. I start getting ready to leave to go back to school. I am packing my stuff when there is a knock on the door.

"Jade." Beck says at my door.

"Beck, what's up?"

"I needed to tell you something and I wanted to tell you face to face. Dylan gave Tori a promise ring. I know you are sick of hearing us talk to you about it but this is your last chance. You should go over there and tell her how you feel before she goes back to school and actually does forget about you."

"It's too late Beck. I appreciate you telling me but I just need to move on with my life as does she."

"Jade please."

"Beck just stop. It's done. I need to finish packing everything I have a shift at the coffee house tomorrow." I say turning from him to throw something in my bag. It hurts. Tori accepted the sing. Even if I told her how I felt it didn't matter she is Dylan's now I lost my chance.

"Well have a safe trip back. Maybe Cat and I can visit again."

"I hope you can. Bye Beck." I give her a hug.

The rest of the day I spend with Lauren and my mom. They are sad I am going back to school but understand. I was happy I could get some time off to spend with them for Christmas.

I get back to my apartment even more depressed than I was last time I came back from break. I hate myself. I ruined my chance with Tori but who was I kidding I would never have been good enough for her. It is amazing she could have loved me at all. I pour myself a drink and I walk over to my nightstand and open the drawer pulling out a little razor. I roll up my pant leg putting the razor to my skin. I am lucky no one has caught on that I am doing this. I have been cutting since the night I broke it off with Tori. I don't do it all the time just when I get really stressed or upset about Tori. This is definitely one of those times.

I watched with interest as the blood slipped down my leg before walking to the bathroom and wiping it up.

The weeks following the break I tried not to drink and screw up my work but I couldn't help the cutting. It helped me release my stress. I can't believe how bad I screwed up with Tori.

I hadn't told anytime I had been cutting since the night I dumped Tori. I didn't do it much until lately. I was this or drink and at least with this I could function at school and work. I was shocked I still even had a job.

I tried to throw myself back into school and work and sometimes that could help me to not cut but then something at school would stress me out or something would remind me of Tori and I would find the blade to my skin again.

I couldn't help but think of how Tori would end up married to Dylan. I tried to not think about them but every so often I would have them pop into my head. I wonder how Tori was, if she was happy, she probably was happier than I could ever make her.

After about two months of being back at school I thought I had finally started controlling myself with the cutting. That was until I had a project that was really stressing me out. I couldn't get the script right. We were supposed to have a happy ending about love and I just couldn't write it correctly because I don't have a happy ending. I found myself with the blade on my wrist slicing down and very deep. It was a Friday night and I didn't feel like going out or seeing people, which was mistake one.

As I was making a second cut thinking about if I just sliced a little harder, a little deeper I could kill myself and I would be out of my misery the door to my apartment open and there stood a shocked Lauren catching me in the middle of cutting.

"Oh my fucking god Jade! Are you trying to kill yourself!" Lauren screamed rushing over to me taking my wrist in her hand. Well I wasn't actually trying to kill myself but the damaged was done.

Lauren looked back up at me with tears in her eyes.

"What the fuck Jade!" Lauren says through tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

I stare in shock at Lauren. Fuck!

"Lauren what are you doing here?"

"Well I was worried about you and came to visit and thank god I did. God Jade what the fuck is wrong with you? You were going to kill yourself; can you imagine what this would do to your friends, Tori? Mom or even me? Jade you selfish bitch how could you even thinking about doing that to me! We just lost our father I can't lose my best fucking friend too on top of that! First with the drinking now this shit! Jade I need you god I love you so much but hate you right now. Are you drinking again too?" Lauren stepped back from me pacing. I just shake my head no.

"Lauren I am sorry. I wasn't thinking but I promise you I wasn't trying to kill myself I just accidently went deeper than I went because you startled me!" I don't mean to raise my voice but I am guilty. I had no intention of killing myself but I know I didn't care in that moment if I died. It was only me I cared about in that moment.

"Well I didn't know if I showed up for a surprised visit that I would startle you into cutting yourself more." Lauren turns to me anger blazing in her eyes.

"I promise I wasn't trying to kill myself Lauren. And I promise I haven't started drinking again." I say sitting back down on the couch staring at the floor guiltily.

"God Jade. How long has this been going on?" Lauren says after a few minutes of silence still not coming near me.

"Since the night I broke up with Tori." I say as tears start to fall.

"Holy fuck Jade. I told you to be honest, I told you to talk to her. You keep saying you are doing what's best for her and letting her go. You don't get to do this shit and then hurt yourself! If you want to let Tori go because you are being stupid fine, but don't torture us by cutting and possibly killing yourself. Fuck." Lauren says pacing again not looking at me.

"I'm sorry." Lauren whips her head towards me.

"Fuck you Jade." Lauren says storming into my bathroom.

Lauren finally calms herself down and comes back out.

"I'm sorry about yelling at you Jade, but god this hurts. Imagine my surprise I walk in seeing a razor to your fucking wrist looking like you are trying to kill yourself. I mean I just got you to stop drinking now you switch to this this isn't any better! Why can't you just talk to me Jade? What the fuck. All this time you have me to talk to any time and your fucking cutting. All because you are too fucking scared to be honest." Lauren stops yelling to cry into her hands. I finally get up from my spot on the couch and go and hug her.

"I feel like I should take you to the hospital to have that closed up but I know you aren't going to let me. I also feel like even though I don't want to be in the same room as you I'm afraid of what you will do if I fucking leave. God I hate you so much Jade and I shouldn't because you need support but dammit you're being so damn selfish right now." Lauren says into my shoulder surprisingly hugging me tight. "I can't lose you too Jade, it will destroy me, it would kill me Jade." Lauren whisper tightening her grip on me.

We eventually break the hug and sit on the couch trying to just have a civil talk. We decide to hit the movies to see a horror movie and hopefully cheer each other up. I can tell Lauren is still very upset with me and I can't blame her.

"I have the week off from school so I am going to be staying here. You don't get a say." Lauren says when we get back going into the bathroom and brushing her teeth. I lay in my bed thinking of the horrified look when she first walked in and I can't help but cry.

I feel the bed dip behind me and her turn me and pull me into her arms. I just cry because I am selfish I don't think of other people. I didn't think of how Tori would feel when I dumped her, I didn't think of how anyone would feel if I just cut too deeply and did die.

"I think you should talk to a therapist. I'll even be there for you if you want but Jade, this cutting has got to stop, please I beg you. Maybe you should try talking to Tori."

"It's too late Dylan gave Tori a promise ring and she is happy I saw her slap page after she unblocked me. I'm too late. If I talk to her and tell her how I feel I will just ruin her happy."

"And whose fault is that? Ugh sorry I shouldn't have said that. A least see a therapist to talk to them since you obviously can't talk to me." Lauren said acidly.

I just roll away from her to my other side and try to sleep.

"I'm sorry, my emotions are all sorts of wacked out." Lauren says putting her hand on my shoulder.

I just shut my eyes and drift off into a sleep. When we wake up we go to get breakfast but Lauren is still cold towards me. I don't blame her I really did betray her.

"I'm not going to tell mom, if you promise to stop and see someone." Lauren says randomly while I am sipping my coffee. I look up at her.

"Blackmailing me?" I ask curiously.

"I care Jade and I don't want to upset mom, but I will if I need more help." Lauren says with a glare. She hasn't been this mad at me since we had our fight and I cut up her favorite shirt after she accidently borrowed one of my favorite shirts and shrunk it. I still think she did it on purpose after I didn't invite her out with the gang and I.

"I'll go, ill make an appointment for this week, will, will you come with me?" I say looking up at Lauren. Her anger actually disappears from her eyes. She reaches across the table grasping my hands.

"Of course ill go. Jade I am only mad because you're my sister and I care and I thought we could talk to each other." Lauren squeezes my hands.

"Let's go bowling after this, we haven't gone bowling in a while." Lauren suggest after our moment.

"Ugh, I hate bowling." I say with a scowl.

"Yeah I don't care, you owe me, you never brought me after you ruined my shirt."

"That was after you ruined my shirt by shrinking it and I know that was on purpose!" Lauren just smiles and shakes her head. She will never admit even if I was on my deathbed.

After we eat we drive to the local bowling alley here. It' moderately packed since it is a Saturday but there is still a few open lanes. We find appropriate bowling balls. I get the shoes but have no plan to wear them, it's bad enough I have to put my fingers in these dirty holes.

Lauren beats me at the first 3 games because I suck at bowling and Lauren is on the damn bowling team. I manage to do better the 4th game but I feel like Lauren actually let me win. After the win Lauren wiped my ass with the floor the last 3 games we play.

"That was fun." Lauren says when we get in the car.

"Yeah fun for you kicking my ass."

"Well you can still play me under the table with music, and you destroy me in darts and pool." Lauren turns on the music and starts singing along eventually getting me to sing along with the song.

Lauren went to a normal school because not to be mean but she was never talented in the music department or acting. I'm not sure where my talent came since neither of my parents could act to save their life.

We hit a grocery store on the way from the bowling alley to get food to make later and rent a few movies.

"I heard this was actually pretty scary."

"Okay it better be otherwise I am going to cut up another one of your shirts." I say with a smirk.

The movie turns out to not be so bad but it is nice to spend time with Lauren. She seems to be in a better mood.

The rest of the week goes by quickly and Lauren seems to be a little less upset with me. I still see an mix of anger and just upset when she looks at me. I get the appointment with my new therapist even though I really didn't want to go. Lauren holds my hand while I talk through everything with the therapist. At the end of the week I sadly say bye to Lauren.

"Promise you won't cut anymore Jade, please? Call me if you feel like you need to. Please?"

"I promise." I whisper. Lauren gives me a tight hug before leaving out of my apartment. I walk back to my couch turning on the TV feeling the loneliness take back over.

As I am sitting there I hear a knock at the door. I feel like that is Lauren forgetting something but I am not sure why she didn't just knock. I open the door to reveal a upset looking half Latina.

"Vega, what, what are you doing here?"

"I just heard some awful news, you tried to kill yourself?"

"What who the fuck told you that?" I ask shocked she is here and knew.

"Your sister Jade, who do you think. God Jade did you even stop to think for one second what that would do to me?"

"Why are you here Tori? You couldn't just call, you flew all the way out here?"

"I have time off from school. And I needed to see you, talk to you in person. Why Jade? Why did you try to kill yourself?" Tori says trying to keep ti together but I can see the tears struggling to break free.

"I didn't try to kill myself. I just made the cut a little deeper because my sister startled me. And it's none of your business since when do you talk to my sister or care about what's going on with me. You have your own little happy life with Dylan!" I snap getting angry. Tori just stares at me in shock as tears stream down her face.

"I have always cared about you Jade. Don't try to say I haven't every time I try to get closer to you and you just push me away and make me feel hurt all over again. Then you sister calls me upset saying you tried to kill yourself. Why would you do that Jade? "

"I didn't try to kill myself I just told you that!"

"Well why were you cutting! I know you lost your dad Jade but you have people that care that you can talk to. What happened if you actually did kill yourself? What would that do to your sister? What would that have done to me?" Tori says as she cries harder.

"It was a wasted trip here Tori I am sorry. I made a promise to my sister so you don't have to worry." I say turning from the door. I notice she is wearing the promise ring that looks more like an engagement ring on her finger.

"You know what Jade, I am done, I'm so fucking done. I don't know why I keep thinking you would change. I don't know why I still care I just need to stop. Have a good fucking life Jade.

For the next week I can't stop thinking about the blow up with Tori. I saw in her eyes she had finally given up on me. Just like I wanted. I hated myself even more but I had made a promise that I wouldn't cut anymore.

At the end of the week I decide to go home for a visit. I just need to spend some time with my mom and Lauren before I do something stupid.

"Jade? What are you doing here? I didn't know you where coming home."

"I just needed a break away from school, it's really stressing me out this year. So surprise!" I say with a smirk as my mom pulls me into a hug.

"Well come on, we are about to have dinner."

"Jade?" Lauren says when I walk into the dining room.

"The one and only." I deadpan walking to the table.

"Would you like some coffee?" My mom asks me bring the lasagna she made out to the table.

"Really mom? What kind of question is that?"

"So you want coffee with extra cream and sugar right Jade?"

"Don't you dare." I get up from my seat and follow my mom into the kitchen she laughs as she pretends to pour cream in a cup of coffee.

"Here's the sugar." She says handing me the dish I give her a glare taking a sip to make sure she didn't already put sugar in it. "That hurt's Jade that you don't trust your own mother."

"Not after you joked about poisoning my coffee."

"Oh Jade hush cream and sugar is not poison." I smirk following my mom back out to the dining room getting ready to eat.

After dinner we all sat in the living room to watch a show. It was the stupid show I have ever watched but I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. It was better than the tryouts for American Idol.

I didn't tell Lauren or my mom my true intention of why I came back this weekend. I was hoping to run into Tori. I hated how I let her leave last time. The next morning I go to the coffee place I know Tori is obsessed with because she loves their lattes. We went there out first date.

I walk in grabbing coffee the way I want it and then sit at a table waiting. After an hour I am about ready to give up and leave when Tori walks in. I watch as she goes to the counter and orders her drink I decide this is the time to talk to her because she can't leave until her coffee is done.

"Tori." I say walking up behind her.

"Jade? What are you doing here?" Tori is shocked to see me.

"I came back to visit my mom and well I came here hoping to run into you. I just wanted to apologize. I am so sorry for how I have been treating you Tori, but you deserve to know the truth." I start saying.

"Stop Jade, just stop. It's too late Jade I can't keep doing this. It hurts too much."

"But Tori I have to tell you."

"No I don't want to hear it Jade. Just please, I can't do this anymore, it hurts too much to talk to you knowing you don't feel the way I do. I'm moving on like you pushed me away to do. Please just stop."

"Okay Tori, sorry for bothering you." I say turning form her grabbing my coffee and walking out to my car. I just made it to my car before I started crying. I fucked up. It really is done this time.

I go home after that to try to get my mind off of it. I don't tell Lauren about it because it is just too painful and I know I deserve it. Tori finally gave up on me. The next morning I leave and head back to my apartment. I want to but know I can't break my promise to Lauren.

I fall asleep after hours of tossing and turning not being able to get the image or Tori giving up on me out of my head. I still see my therapist once a week as the weeks pass but I don't feel any better. When spring break rolls around I don't bother to go home. I just stay at the apartment and not run the risk of running into Tori.

I'm sitting on my couch watching some horror movie playing. I am drinking straight vodka trying to drown my sorrows. I have found myself drinking more and more since my run in with Tori. I control my drinking so I am not as bad as before and can function at school and work. It's the one thing that helps me not cut. I drain the rest of my glass before getting myself some more. As I sit back down there's a knock on my door.

I open the door and am shocked to see who it is.

"Tori?"

"Hi Jade, can I please come in?"

"Um yeah. Uh do you want a drink?"

"Uh yah do you have any coke?"

"Yeah I have some in the fridge, do you want any liquor in it?" I ask feeling pretty tipsy curious to why she is here.

"Yeah vodka please."

"Coming right up." I walk over to grab a soda and glass. I pour vodka in the glass first and then soda.

"So not that I am not happy to see you but what are you doing here?" I ask when I sit next to Tori on the sofa.

"You didn't come home for spring break." Tori says taking a sip of her drink.

"Um no, I just didn't want to. I didn't want to run into you." Tori looks at me sadly.

"I keep thinking about our last conversation I wasn't very fair to you not letting you tell me what you had to say."

"Its fine, it wasn't that important." I say getting up from the couch.

"I broke up with Dylan." I stop in my tracks turning around to face her. "I just didn't love her the way she loved me. I'm too busy being stupid and in love with someone I can't have. I thought maybe if I stopped talking to you that I could forget about you but I couldn't. I can't stop repeating the night we had sex over and over again in my head. Then Dylan gave me the promise ring and I thought I could make it work but every time I saw you I just remembered how much I still loved you and I was stupid because I had Dylan there not afraid to tell me how she really felt, not afraid I could hurt her even though in the end I did. It was going so well the first few months then I saw you spring break and it went down hill. Then there was Thanksgiving break. Then you sister tells me how you were cutting and almost killed yourself. It nearly killed me when I found that out Jade. I was surprised when Beck and Cat said you weren't coming home for spring break and that you thought I hated you. Then I heard something interesting from your sister. I overheard her talking to Beck and Cat about how you thought it was too late so you didn't tell me how you loved me. I also heard Lauren tell Beck and Cat how Dylan told you that she could make me happier because she could admit that she loved me. Why didn't you tell me you loved me Jade?" Tori looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"Because you were going away to school. And because Dylan wouldn't hurt you like I would."

"I would never cheat on you, I only started talking to Dylan to try to get over you, but you were always on my mind Jade. Jade you let me believe you didn't love me that night. You crushed my heart."

"Why are you here now Tori?"

"Because I wanted to hear the truth from your mouth. I know that's what you were going to tell me that day at the coffee place."

"I love you Tori, I have for I don't even know how long. I fucked up a lot though so I don't expect you to ever want to be with me. I only wanted to tell you at the truth because you deserved to know."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know Tori, you go to school across the country. We would never see each other." Tori just nods.

"I'm sorry." I say sadly draining my glass.

"How long have you been cutting Jade?" Tori asks me randomly.

"Since the night I first broke your heart. I still haven't forgiven myself." I say getting up to get another drink."

"So fix that mistake now. Don't give up before we even try this Jade. I love you so much and I feel it in me that we can make this work. Don't break my heart again." I hear Tori say in a sad voice. I turn around and see Tori stand up from the couch. "Jade I know we have both suffered from not being together. Not from the distance either. What do we have to lose at this point?"

"Because I am not worthy of your love Tori."

"Stop that Jade. I don't care what you think of yourself! I am standing here telling you I love you and forgiving you for doing what you thought was helping me. Jade look at me." Tori grabs my chin and looks me in the eyes. "Please?"

"I'm so sorry for hurting you before Tori, you never deserved any of that I really thought I was doing you a favor letting you be happy. I love you so much but Dylan put in my head she would make you happy in a way I couldn't."

"Jade, no one but you can make me happy the way you do, you are the one I truly love." Tori says smiling through her tears.

"Then Victoria Vega, can I have a redo and take you on a date?"

"Only if you will be my girlfriend again?" Tori says blushing slightly.

"Yes." I say before leaning forward and giving her a kiss.

I pull Tori to my bed and soon we are naked and panting.

"So I never said this before but I like you apartment." Tori says giggling.

"Man I didn't give you a tour! There is just so many rooms you know." I say sarcastically earning a punch from Tori. I laugh then look in her eyes. "I'm so happy finally. I can't believe I let myself be so miserable for so long."

"Me either, but I am right where I belong." Tori says before kissing me.

That summer following spring break I split time between my apartment and parents house. Tori stayed at my apartment for a lot of the time and my house. I also had a few sleepovers at her house.

By that fall I was very sad to say bye to her until our next break form school but we planned skype dates and phone calls so this time I wasn't afraid of the distance I knew we would make it work.

"I'm going to miss you." I say sadly holding Tori close.

"I'm going to miss you too Jade but we can do this Jade, we can skype and talk on the phone. It's only a little over two months until Thanksgiving." Tori said sadly.

"I love you Tori." I whisper in her ear before kissing her. "Call me when you land safely in NY." I say looking into her eyes.

"I love you to Jade and I will." Tori gives me a quick kiss before boarding her plane. I watch her walk away sadly but I know we are going to be okay. After that first year and half, we can make this work.

When Thanksgiving finally came I could barely contain my excitement. I couldn't help smiling to myself thinking about how the first two years I didn't want to go home for Thanksgiving and now I couldn't wait to get there.

Tori was going to meet me at my house a little later after I got home because her plane was getting in later than when I was getting back.

"Hey sis!" Lauren said wrapping me in a hug when I walked through the front door followed by my mom. I am happy to see them. I still miss my dad terribly but we are all getting a little better day by day. I chit chat with Lauren while she follows me down to my room.

"You look happier than you have coming home any other Thanksgiving break. Does a certain girl have anything to do with it?" Lauren asks with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Shut up!" I say whacking Lauren's arm playfully and blushing but my smile never falters. I look like a lovesick fool and I don't even care anymore. "It may have to do with it a little but I am happy to see my mom and sister." Lauren smiles.

"I'm going to run upstairs and make sure mom isn't poisoning the coffee on us." Lauren says. She drinks her coffee strong like me with a little sugar.

I shake my head with a smile walking into my room not even noticing the figure sitting in my bed. "You look like love sick fool Jade." I say to myself looking in the mirror.

"I'd say." I hear and whip around towards y bed seeing Tori sitting down wearing a smirk. "What is all the smiling about Jade? Are you sick?" Tori says getting up form my bed.

"Oh it's no one special." I say with a smirk. "I thought you weren't coming home until tonight?"

"I got an earlier flight so I could beat you hear and surprise you/" Tori says still just standing and looking at me. I look at her for another second before I pull her into a tight hug.

"I missed you." I whisper out into Jade's ear.

"I missed you too." Tori says pulling back and giving me a heated kiss. I open my mouth allowing access to Tori's tongue.

"God I missed you, that was the longest two and a half months ever." I blurt out when the kiss breaks.

"Aw Jade." Tori says giving me another sweet kiss before hugging me tight.

"Hey baby? Are you staying for dinner?" I ask Tori.

"Yes if you want me to."

"Yes I want to spend as much time with you as possible." I give her another kiss before pulling her upstairs.

We split Thanksgiving spending time at my house with my family and at her house with her family. Her family was happy that we were finally together over the summer since Tori could stop moping around. I was just happy they accepted me after everything.

I looked forward to every break from school I had for the next two years. And when I threw myself into school this time it was just to get my mind off of Tori because I missed her from the distance, but I never doubted our ability to stay together ever again.

Finally the day came where we both graduated from college. Tori moved back home and I went home to stay for a while. We had never actually talked about or planned what would happen after college. When she came home I decided to ask her if she wanted to move into my apartment with me.

"Yes, I would love to move in with you!" Tori said excitedly jumping into my arms giving me a tight hug. Everything had finally started falling into place.

"So tonight is the big night huh?" Lauren asked me as I stood in Tori's and I's bed room. It was two years after we graduated school; we were living closer to our parents again. We had moved out of my studio and got a larger apartment that had two guest rooms since Tori and I shared a room.

"Yes it is." I say looking at myself in the mirror. "How do I look?" I asked Lauren. Tonight was the night I was going to propose to Tori.

"You look good like always. Are you nervous?" Lauren came over and played with my hair.

"Extremely." I say looking at Lauren through the mirror.

"Don't be she is going to say yes." I take the ring box out of my pocket and look at it. It's just a simple one-karat Diamond with dark purple Amethysts in a circle around the diamond. It was set in a thin white gold band. "She is also going to love the ring Jade." Lauren says causing me to look at her.

"Thanks Lauren. For everything." I say turning and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Anytime Jade." Lauren says squeezing me back. "I better go, Tori will be here soon." Lauren let her self out and I stood in my room staring at self in the mirror.

Tori came home not too long after from the studio. She quickly changed and got ready and we went out to dinner at the new Italian restaurant.

"I can't believe you got reservations here Jade I heard they had waits for at least 6 months for people to get in." Tori says when we sit down at our semi secluded table.

"I'm Jade West I get what I want." I say with a smirk.

We make small talk and I get us a bottle of wine for the table and sip it before we get our food. To say the food is delicious is an understatement. It is amazing I wanted to keep eating even though I wasn't very hungry. We decide to share tiramisu for dessert before I pay our check.

"Thanks for the lovely dinner date Jade." Tori says kissing me as we left the restaurant. "You know for a second there I almost thought you were going to propose."

"Tori why would you think that?" I ask when we got in the car to go back to the apartment.

"I don't know. It was just a really nice restaurant for a random date." Tori responds back as we drive.

"How cliché." I say. Smirking knowing what's coming when we get home.

We drive quietly home just enjoying each other's company.

"Come on, let's go relax in bed and watch a horror movie." I suggest when we pull into the parking lot.

"Fine, as long as it's not too gory."

"It won't be and don't worry I will hold you close the whole time." I smile taking Tori's hand walking into the apartment building.

We get into our apartment and change into our pj's. While Tori is using the bathroom I quickly take the ring box and put it under her pillowcase. I turn on the movie and the DVD menu loads up. I get into bed and wait for Tori to come to bed with me. I can't wait until she notices the box in her pillow.

"What are we watching?" Tori asks as she comes over to bed and gets in.

"You'll see." I say smirking pulling her into me as I start the movie.

At some point in the movie Tori moved just slightly but it was just enough for her to sit up.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"There's something in my pillow." Tori says reaching in and pulling out the ring box. "Oh my god." Tori's eyes go wide when she pulls out the ring box.

"Oh damn you found my Christmas present." I say jokingly. "Open it." I say.

"Oh my god Jade, is this an engagement ring?" Tori asks.

"Yeah Lauren's boyfriend go tit for her and wanted to hide it here." I say earning a smack form Tori who smiled as tears formed in her eyes.

"Victoria Vega, I love you more than words could ever describe. I made the worst mistake in the world ever letting you go. These past 4 years have been the best years of life spending them with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, as your wife. Will you marry me Tori?" I say before my tears start.

"Yes Jade." Tori says giving me a hard kiss. We both forget about the movie as we celebrate our engagement.

A year after our engagement and planning I finally found myself at the alter with Tori. Lauren was my made of honor, Beck as my best man and Cat as a bride's maid. Though Tori and I kind of shared her as a bridesmaid. Tori had Trina as her made of honor, Andre as her best man and Robbie as an usher. That day Tori became my wife and I couldn't be happier. Sadly my dad was not there to walk me down the aisle but my mom was.

We went on our honeymoon to Hawaii and spent a wonderful 2 and half weeks in paradise. I was sad to leave the beautiful weather but was happy because wherever I went Tori went so I was happy.

" Jade, what do you think of having kids?" Tori asks me randomly one day.

"Let's focus on getting a house first, then we can have babies Tori, I'd love to have babies with you." I say.

Thinking back to the summer before college when I stupidly dumped Tori and lied I thought I would never be happy again. I turn to look at the sleeping half-Latina and thank god we ended up back together.

"I love you Tori." I whisper to her giving her a kiss before shutting my eyes.

"I love you too Jade." Tori says pulling me closer to her body.

**Well that's the last chapter. Hope you enjoyed the story sorry to those of you who thought it was stupid. RandR.**


End file.
